Hairy Labelling Business.

So are you just a hipster or an angry feminist? 

  In a culture where female body hair is not a thing - I mean have you seen Beyonce* with armpit hair or unshaven legs?- the fact that some women choose to have body hair is radical. In fact, it is so counter-culture that people start putting you under labels - so are you a hipster or an angry feminist?

  Well here is a rather radical idea: what if I am neither? Why do I have to label myself as either? Why does choosing to not tame my body hair have to be prompt such questions where I am either a hipster or an "angry" feminist, not a regular feminist, but the implied bra-burning angry feminist (?!). 

  This is reflects our ideas towards women and their bodies --the ideas that prosper under the comforting veil of patriarchy and regenerated through socialization. When I was still just getting closer to the gates of puberty, I remember within my friend groups, we would talk about our body changes. During that time, the fact that you had some remnants of armpit hair was glorious, because it set you ahead from the rest, you were grown up, and you were the "real deal." While, slow bloomers like me just nodded along and lied when they realized that they were the only ones who were not the "real deal" (maybe a lot more of us were lying than I realized). 

  Nevertheless, it is always interesting how the perception went from "Yes! Armpit hair! I am the real deal" "I am not a child anymore I belong!" to "Shit! These again, I just got them waxed a week ago!" In India, people wax their arm hair as well so it was an anxious wait being allowed to wax my body hair and join the gangs of women with "clean" skin. No grass just perfectly barren lands of dark healthy soil. 

  The affects of these socializations are crazy were visible everywhere with me, my friends and everyone else - come summer they were lined outside their neighborhood salons to be waxed if they were not shaving. No one wore cut sleeve shirts without having their arms waxed; you could not wear the damn shirt even if you had been dreaming about it, if those little spaces were not clear of all the hairy debris. Such a struggle. It was a struggle being a "woman." Moreover, it is not like there were never complaints, everyone complained. Be it about the pain when the cotton strip holding your hair with warm wax was ripped off or the little acne some got or even the struggle of actually "having" to get these procedures done. The struggle was and is real but like headstrong individuals that we are, no one gave up and everyone persevered. We persevered on the struggle bus, all in the name of beauty and "cleanliness."

  But why? It was crazy to think the otherwise - walking around with hairy legs are you kidding me? Are you a savage? That is just gross! Well, if it is so gross then I guess masculine bodies are gross because they do not shave for their socialization programs them not to. So they are allowed to lounge freely in their body hair not incur the crazy expenses and not endure the struggle we "must"? Why? Why is it so radical to think otherwise? Especially because when winter comes we are not really running to the salon to be waxed. No one is seeing our patches of hair. Perhaps, winter is the only time we allow ourselves to embrace our body in its reality and stray away from the beauty standards socialized within us. Why this double standard, why this hypocrisy?

  Demonizing a woman's body hair is a form of control and oppression. We are saying if you do not do this, you do not belong; you are not as attractive as everyone is and you are unsanitary. (Your body hair has nothing to do with your cleanliness, it's a constructed idea). We are policing how they should work their bodies, and the cherry on the top is how we are also normalizing this form of social control. The same goes for when we say boys should not shave their legs, we are policing how they should work with their bodies. We are controlling how the individuals should carry themselves regardless of where their basic comforts may lie. A shaved leg automatically becomes "Feminine" and so it is just seems wrong. "Be a man, be rugged, that's not manly." This kind of discourse is problematic and it hurts everyone. It takes away from the individual's comforts and freedoms.

  Our hair is our hair. It is the same as the hair on our heads. Yes, we have grown up distinguishing the gross hair and the hair we must tame to be glorious. However, if people wish to choose to not participate in ripping off their hair every week or month then well good for them! I say, try not removing your body hair for a month or two. It is a hard journey I will 100% attest to that because we have been socialized to not like it. Furthermore, we know how others are going to perceive us and we know we are not functioning under the normalcies of our society. But is you cannot shave/wax your legs during winters or when you are wearing pants or when no one is there to see it - think of it aren't you actually comfortable with your hair? Doesn't it then become more of a presentation to others than it is a presentation to the self? I say, try it. Regardless of if you're going to strut around in your cute new bikini or shorts, try embracing the little crop of hair on your body. I promise it does not bite. In fact, in the end you feel more and more comfortable with yourself. Plus, the big savings that you make are pretty awesome too. 

  This, of course, is not to say that individuals who do choose to remove their hair even with this knowledge/ experience or who call themselves feminists [for those who are still uncomfortable with the little word], are unauthentic. The important part is that the person is able to make the informed choice for themselves. Oh look it's rainy outside, I have nothing to do maybe I’ll wax my legs and wrap myself in my comforter than just came out of the dryer and smells of lavender essential oils. Maybe I will do that. Oh I am wearing these shorts and my legs have hair (WHAT!?), I do not really care I am just going to walk out that door and enjoy my day. Yes, maybe I will do that. 

  The important part is that we all have the space to embrace and enjoy our bodies, and most importantly, we can LOVE our bodies. The poor hair never hurt anyone, they never bit and if you even grow them out they are super soft [unlike the after-shave prickle ehh]. They are here to love and protect your skin, even let those pheromones out easier. Show them some love and acceptance. Show yourself some love and acceptance. If you do feel you are not able to join the embrace train yourself right now, that is okay try again later but respect someone else that is in that process right now. It is hard to fight against social control. It is hard to define and present yourself beyond the guidelines given to us by society by everybody. We do not have to do this. A lot of us are privileged enough to make that choice. We do not have to be labelled or label someone too based off on that choice. You do you and I do me. Let's build each other up for the value we create and not bring each other down for the hair we may have or not have.

Personally, yes, I am a feminist and I do get angry about social and environmental injustices, but growing out my hair does not make me an angry feminist. It does not make anger my defining character. I am comfortable with my body like this.

This is my choice. That is all.

In a nutshell, give yourself the chance, the space to find that comfort and make that choice. That is all. 

P.S. If someone was to say that you are unattractive because of your body hair, then firstly, it is there preference they can't deal so whatever. Secondly, do you really need someone like that who cannot accept you in your natural form and only accepts the processed one? Thirdly, you can't go every day of your life removing your body hair to please this particular person or everyone so fourthly I guess it is not such a bad thing that they walked away. Less weeding out, more getting to the real thing faster for you. 

* I just use her as an example of popular beauty standards.